The SkinLess Project

May 5, 2012

Chillin'

I can still hear the sound of red-winged blackbirds singing as I pulled my rusty old wagon down the path to the woods. When I got to "my" crabapple tree I unpacked the wagon – a ragged blanket to cover the thistles, three or four of my best pals (dolls and teddy bears), a stack of books, and a jug of Kool-Aid. And then I was set for the afternoon. I could talk and pretend with my dolls until it was time to pack up my wagon and head home for supper. That was chillin'. With a loose schedule, those days were my time.

In a recent survey, children from ages 4-15 years old were asked, "What would you like to do this summer?" The overwhelming response was, "PLAY!" Not one child requested more lessons or structured time. It's also significant that less than 5% mentioned any kind of major trip or outing. Over and over what the children wanted to do was play with friends, ride bike, shoot hoops, go swimming, etc.
We are so fortunate to have camps, clubs, and lessons for learning new skills, making friends, and gaining confidence. The difficult thing is to make choices and be sure to include time for just playing, dreaming, imagining, and tinkering – and not only for kids! Adults need unstructured time too. It's during this time that we think of new ideas and figure out things about ourselves and our abilities. Fields must lie fallow for certain periods, and so must human beings. Down-time results in richer accomplishments later on

Here are a few of my favorite "down-time" childhood memories:

• Dandelion stems curling in cold water.
• Pictures drawn in the dirt with a stick.
• A tent made from a rope tied between two trees and an old blanket.
• Hopscotch.

Create down-time this summer for your children – and plan some for yourself too! As an adult you probably won't make a tent in the backyard, but what will you do? Savor a carefree moment and you will see a change in your productivity, mood, and satisfaction with life.

April 1, 2012

Efficiently Silent

A reflective client shared that she avoids silence because the noise of it is too loud. So she drives with talk radio, works with smooth jazz, and falls asleep with a television. There's nothing wrong with that - unless our addiction to constant sound is crowding out something better. What could that be?

Does surrounding ourselves with noise mute our own thoughts? When my environment is filled with other people's opinions and creative expressions does that leave room for my own? Every person I've ever met has an idea about something they'd like to do or become. Solitude and silence are keys to expanding those inklings into well-thought-out plans and finally full-blown reality.

Make today your time to create a new project, clarify an innovation, or solve a problem. Silence outside interferences and give your brain room to "hear yourself think."

March 1, 2012

Emergency Crazy 8

A few weeks I met three girlfriends for dinner. As I got out of the car I grabbed my Emergency Deck of Cards from the glove box. Yes, I carry an Emergency Deck of Cards and use it much more often than I use the Emergency First Aid Kit. Every car should have one.

We ordered our dinner and shared our lives. Since our last connection there were new health concerns, job challenges, financial stress, and worries about kids. As a life coach I help people move through these kinds of stressful experiences. So, what do you imagine helped us that night? My Emergency Deck of Cards! We had a Crazy 8 marathon for three hours with strategy and scheming and loads of laughter. It
was simple, silly fun and a valuable stress reliever.

It seems that everyone has stress these days. What your Emergency Stress Relief? Consider some of these reminders:

• Be careful not to crowd out fun and relaxation with overwork. Fun is an essential part of a healthy life.
• Keep your sense of humor. The physical act of laughing actually fights stress.
• Post a list on your refrigerator of cheap, simple experiences (like Crazy 8!) that can give you a lift and break up the pressures of life. Invite your friends and family to add their ideas to this running list of stress busters. Make it a routine to add these experiences to your calendar – often.

You have a great life to live. Don't let painful stress control your days – you can take charge!

February 1, 2012

Failure at 26%

I began 2012 with a New 15 DAY Resolution, which felt more reasonable than a New YEAR Resolution. My resolve was to workout with my old Denise Austin video every single day. It's a great video that lasts only 22 minutes, and is set on a California beach. Pretty painless – and it was only for 15 days.

How do you think The Joy Lady did? Have you read the title of this blog entry? I skipped two days completely with no good excuse. Two other days I took a walk with my husband and called that a substitute for exercise. So, I failed 4 days of the 15. That's 26% failure.

Is there a failure in your life today that's dragging you down? What regret, worry, or fear wakes you up at 4AM? We've all been there, living twists and turns that don't go as we had hoped – many that are way more serious than an exercise routine. A lost job, a failed marriage, or a troubled child can all make a strong person question her wisdom, or even her worth. If this is you right now, I challenge you to take a different perspective by uncovering, with gratitude, what you have accomplished.

As I evaluate the first 15 days of 2012, I see that I worked out 11 days! That's ELEVEN (11) days of success! That's a better exercise streak than I had all year in 2011!  Mathematically that may be only 74% completion, but emotionally that's 100% JOY!