The Skinless Project Inspirational Woman October 2011:
Tricia Fitzgerald – Turning Loss Into Love, One Mother At A Time

Tricia Fitzgerald - An educator, a businesswoman, a humanist, a mother, a doula, a wife and a caregiver. She is teaching people how to bring new life into this world and helping grieving mothers say goodbye. She has touched our soul by being courageous in facing her own loss. As a creative leader she decided to follow her instinct and invest her talent into building Gentle Beginning, Inc. by following her heart. We are honored to share her story. Please, get to know her and brighten your day.

Her beautiful story, in her own words:




I am a mother of 5 children and a wife of a Chicago Police Officer. Our four living children are 7, 6, 4, and 22 months, and our son Michael was born still in February of 2008.

In 2003 I received my Masters in Early Childhood Development and Education from DePaul University, and I began teaching in the Chicago Public Schools.

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, just five short months after first was born, I began to research the possibility of having a doula present to help my husband support me during my child's birth. During my research I realized that a career as a doula would not only be fulfilling and meaningful, it would also help me utilize my skills and education in a very unique way. While pregnant with my 2nd daughter, in June of 2004, I trained to become a doula, which is a professional childbirth assistant. Doulas provide informational, emotional, and physical support to pregnant women and their families during pregnancy, childbirth, and the early postpartum period.

After having my second child I began attending births and I absolutely loved it. At this time I was teaching 1st grade during the day, I had begun teaching Early Childhood Education courses in the School of Education at DePaul University, and I was attending births. Not to mention, I was a mom to two small girls and a wife. I decided to quit my day job and focus on being a mom, instructor, and doula.

In October of 2006 I began teaching childbirth classes at Elmhurst Yoga Shala and I added classes at Little Company of Mary Hospital in 2009. The method I teach helps moms and their partners release fear and tension as they prepare to have a calm childbirth experience.

In March of 2007 I officially incorporated my business, Gentle Beginning, Inc .

Since 2005 I have attended and assisted at 102 births, and since 2006 I have taught more than 200 couples HypnoBirthing. I am blessed and honored to have been given the opportunity to play a part in the beginning of so many lives here on this earth.

When I lost my son Michael on February 3, 2008, everything in my world changed. I've dedicated a good portion of my work to women and families who have lost a pregnancy, infant, or child. In October of 2010 I started Love and Loss, a support group on Facebook that meets usually every other month in the Chicagoland area.

I am a passionate supporter of women, babies, and families. My goal is to help pregnant women find health care providers who follow evidence based practices, and to help women and their partners find scientifically sound facts so they can engage in fully informed choice during pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting.

Tell me what love and loss has taught you about women?

It has taught me of the vulnerability and strength of women. Losing a child is the most devastating event that can happen in a woman's life, and I've watched women endure enormous grief and pain, yet still remain strong enough to care for their other children and the rest of their family. It's devastating and awe inspiring.

What has it taught you about yourself?

I've learned that I can be emotionally present and supportive for another during a loss, which I never could have imagined I would be capable of doing. During my loss I was so completely devastated and I felt extraordinarily alone. Grief is such a taboo subject in this country, and I felt that people treated me as if there was something severely wrong with me because I wanted to talk about my son and openly grieve. I learned that I don't care what others think about my grief. And I have learned that I am strong enough to help other women on their journey through grief.

What advice would you give to women to move forward after a loss?

I believe women need to just let grief happen. We all deal with it differently. Some women are much more open and public about it than others. There is no wrong or right way to grieve. But it is extremely important for moms to allow themselves to truly grieve. Our society wishes we would just stay quiet about it and "move on", but just know that it is okay to remember and honor your child, every day even, if you wish. Be gentle on yourself and allow the feelings to come and go, and just know that you are never alone.

You can learn more about Tricia and Gentle Beginning at http://triciafitzgerald.blogspot.com/