Every Holiday Isn’t Happy

Are holidays the most wonderful time of the year? Holidays can be the most agonizing time of the year if we’re living in a space of sadness, resentment, regret, or loneliness. If this is a hard year for you – due to illness, divorce, or other loss – here are tips that helped me survive holidays when celebrating was the last thing I felt like doing.

1- Do something totally different! Cook something you’ve never eaten. Or, spend time visiting at a nursing home or hospital. If you can, go out of town to a place you’ve never been – for a new adventure.

2- Be with different people! Invite a neighbor who doesn’t have family nearby to join you. Drop in on Aunt Helen or your third-cousin, Pete, whom you rarely see. Let your kids invite a few of their friends over for cookie baking.

3- Cherish something! Take a moment to remember what YOU love about the holidays. What is it that you will always enjoy even if you are all alone? I love simmering orange peel and cinnamon sticks on the stove to make the kitchen smell great. It doesn’t matter if I’m the only person in the house – I still love that smell.

4- Reach out to someone else in need, if you can. I know there were years this would have been impossible for me because my pain was too raw. But later on, as I was beginning to heal, I found joy by looking outside of my own mess, into the lives of those around me. Adopt a family, who has been struck with poverty, or bake an extra batch of cookies for an elderly neighbor, and watch your holiday get happier!

We have high expectations for holidays to be merry and fulfilling. However, when the face of a family changes, so do the holidays. A part of transition is letting go of the old, but another exciting part is creating something new. Start this year by taking one small step in the direction of a joyful new way to celebrate!