Mother’s Day special: You are a supermom: embrace it!
A recent blog post by April Perry on the topic of motherhood prompted me to think critically about how women view motherhood in light of current societal standards and expectations. As a working mom, I’ve had my fair share of highs and lows. Am I working too much? Am I home for my boys when the need me? Should I be working more? Is there dinner on the table when my husband comes home? Do my kids have clean underwear? Am I volunteering enough? Do my friends still like me? These are just a handful of questions I have found myself pondering, and I’m sure there are more. The real question I should be asking myself is, why am I asking all these questions in the first place!! I started graduate school after my firstborn turned three months and it took seven years to complete my degree, during which I had my second son as well. I laugh at myself that it took me so long; so long that the program at the School of Public Health disbanded, and I had to change the track I was on in order to graduate! Since graduation, I’ve co-founded a nonprofit organization , started volunteering on a weekly basis at my sons’ school as the health teacher, and am working part-time as a community health educator , yet I still wonder, am I doing enough? Am I supermom quality and if not, what can get me there?
Yes, I would like to propose that we all have a bit of supermom in us! I can be a supermom (and according to my 7 year old, I am), and I can also be a phenomenal woman (nod to Maya Angelou) and here’s why I believe it. I want you to begin with an examination of your heart, mind, body and soul. Start with your mindset and think about the stereotypes women are faced with every day. Society measures up women according to body image and body type against 1% of the entire population (thin, white ideal). We (and here I mean, women AND men) all don’t look like supermodels, and even supermodels don’t look ‘perfect’ all day. Yet the media infiltrates these messages into our lives, which seriously impact our self-esteem. And because of that negative impact, you are more susceptible to believing what you hear, which can cause a multitude of problems. That’s where you have to stop and look at your self critically. Are you being hard on yourself? Turn off that inner critic!
Let’s talk about self-love. Who are you to yourself? Do you love yourself? Are you happy with where you are in life? It’s important to always be challenged, which helps to increase your self-esteem and self-efficacy. Learn a new skill, try a new sport, sign up for a 5k, do something that scares you, and then prepare to be amazed. If you can’t love yourself first, you cannot expect to receive or give love to anyone else. When you are happy, everyone else around you can be happy. Happiness has become a commodity in our society, something sought after, when in fact, and it’s right in front of you; it’s within you. Don’t let someone think they can sell you happiness.
Now here’s my favorite part. Exercise. Yes I love it. I enjoy my daily run and I don’t feel guilty about making time to exercise. I will schedule meetings around my weekly running date with friends, because I know how important that time is to my self worth and my self-esteem. Even my kids know it: when mama doesn’t run, she is grumpy. I recently had a woman approach me after a presentation, asking me how to find time to exercise. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, right? But its how you create it. Start with something small, but find joy in something physical every day. Take a long walk to mail a letter, park at the end of the block and walk to your house, start with something small if you have to. For those who are able to do more, challenge yourself! Find a race that challenges you, that pushes you out of your comfort zone, just a tiny bit. Remember that what doesn’t challenge you won’t change you.
Once you’ve done your mind, heart and body makeovers, take time to nurture your soul. Revel in your accomplishments. Make a vision board and put pictures of yourself on that vision board. We’ve all done amazing things in our lives, and we don’t need a measuring stick created by society to tell us how we stack up. Connect yourself to your Creator; ground yourself, humble yourself. Yet at the same time, praise yourself for your own accomplishments.
If we think we are supermoms, then we are! I truly believe in the power of visualization, as it has a transformative affect on the psyche. Every year I make a visual chart of my top three accomplishments, my top three goals (make sure they are SMART), and then three goals that are a stretch, but attainable if I work hard. Revisiting that every year (and during the year) is part of my self-growth process, and reminds me that I too, am a supermom and a phenomenal woman.